Thugs......

So, the Hunter saga continues.  Things were really getting out of control, it got to the point that he was not caring about himself or us.  We had told him he had three choices, check into rehab, get help locally, or move out. He went a week and didn't talk to us.  He made the choice to move out.  Ok, that was his choice...so be it.   Then he decided not to move out.  We told him he could drive his car to work, but that was it.  We got to where we took his car keys every evening.
Last week he went to watch a basketball game, of course he drank, and while walking home he was attacked.  He was hit on the back of his head, went to his knees, and was kicked in the face.  Nope, don't know who or why.  To make a long story short, he had surgery on his broken jaw, has a concussion, and fractured ribs.

What I want to say is that I know there are going to be blessings to come out of this...first of all Hunter is alive.  He can't smoke for 6 weeks.  And I believe a little light has gone off in his head about his life style.

But...I would love to catch these guys that did this...I really would.  Am I am tired of people telling he that God will take care of them...I know that.  But as a Mother whose son has been so hurt....I want to hurt them.  Would I do it...only In My dreams.  I would make sure the cops got them and pressed charges.  I get so tired of evil people winning.

Hunter, Hunter, Hunter

I have become a true redneck.  Well sort of.  Hunter was drunk all night, this morning I found him outside sitting in his truck, drunk.  Window was down, and it was the coldest night of the winter, like 10 degrees.  He wouldn't come in the house, so I told him to stay out there and freeze.  Came back in, got under my blankets to get warm and then I get a phone call. He had driven to my Mother's old house and had walked in.  He was upset because they were doing contrustion work on the house.  The people told him to get out.  The thing that got me was that he was driving and drunk.  I thought I was going to die.  I got in my car to go find him, past him on the road, I turned around and started following him.  He bumped the car in front of him, thank God no damage.  He got home, I got out of my car and went over and started in on him.  I told him to give me his keys, he wouldn't so we started fighting over the keys.  Next thing I knew I was hitting him and I gave him a busted lip.  I just let loose on  him.  If I was a man with the strength I would have knocked him on his butt.  OMG....drinking and drunk.  he was drunk to the point of stumbling.  

Wednesday night, the 4th.

So here I am sitting on my bed with Cooper, the big white dog.  I am so tired, just want to go to sleep, but no....my brain won't shut off.  I just got done sending out an email about the upcoming classes....
Classes have fallen off, I hate when we take a break cause it takes forever for them to get going full swing.  And I am not picking up any new students.  I keep thinking that I just need to stop classes....but I keep going.  It is really hard to come up with interesting things every week.  I try to introduce new ideas and techniques...but I guess they don't want that.  They seem to want the same One Stroke stuff.  So, I have really been thinking about this.  I think I will stick to one Stroke for the classes, maybe once a month introduce something new and let that be it.  There is plenty of One Stroke stuff out there, so I guess I will do it.  When I am at the Studio I can do different things for me.   How does that sound?  UGH.....lol.

OMG...I finally got on the scales.

UGH!!!!  I knew I have been gaining weight...I didn't want to get on the scales and see the proof, but I did tonight....Shoot me in the head now.  I don't even want to say out loud how much I have gained.  Last week I started trying to take my life back and the weight control is part of it.  Oh my,  but I do love to eat.  I really love to eat.  but I do eat too much, especially at night.  I will get up after going to bed and walk into the kitchen just to get something to eat, and then I go to bed and go to sleep.  I have gained all the weight that I lost years ago....why or why?  I am weak when it comes to my weight and eating.  Like right now Phil is sitting there in his chair eating a piece of cake and I so want to  jump on him and eat it.  I can do this....I can do this....I can do this.  What did I say...I CAN DO THIS.  A pound at a time...one day at a time.

Saturday nigth

Here it is the end of January already....11 more months till the end of 2015.  I wonder where this year will take me, my family.  I pray that this year is better than the one that just ended.  I decided this week that I wasn't going to let outside forces tear me down.  I am going to strive to be happy and at peace.  I pray that Hunter gets well and stays alive.  Every time he walks out the door we can't help but wonder if tonight will be the night we get a call.  But you know what, I have put him in God's hands and I am not going to take him back.  I have got to trust that God will take care of him and that He will give us the strength to face each and everything thing that might happen.

I wonder at times how one of our kids could end up like this....but then Phil reminds me how this happened.  Ugh.....how did that happen to Hunter?  I could drive myself crazy with the questions.....got to let it go.

I keep reminding myself that my joy is in God.  My peace comes from him.

I have not been going to the studio much, I have just been staying home. But this week I have decided to get my butt back in there.  So, I am going to try to do studio hours on Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays.  I hope.  lol.

Okay, going to sign off and go to bed....maybe read for a while and escape into a different world.

Old friends

i love seeing old friends and talking and laughing.  It is always like coming home!

Tuesday, today would have been Mom' s 78th birthday.

cant believe she isn't here to call and wish her happy birthday.  Even though she broke my heart I still wish she was here.  I pray one day I will be able to forgive her.

Thursday night

What a wild and wacky few weeks.  Hunter continues to break my heart.  Philip worries me, and Samantha...I just want her to be happy.  Poor Mia isn't getting better.  So scared for her.

A great weekend.

So on Wednesday I went to work and had a great time there. I am so blessed to have a job that I go to three days a week that I truly love. I have such a good time with everyone that I work with and our customers. I love it.

I then came home to load my car so that I could leave to go out of town. I went to the mail box and there was an envelope from UNC-W for Hunter. And it was a big envelope. You know what that means.....and that is what it was. I wish someone have a video camera on me, I was in the yard trying to read thru the envelope and I saw the word "congratulations". I was so excited that I ran right into the house and called Hunter. I told him that there was an envelope for him and who it was from. He got real quiet and asked me if it was a big one or a small one. When I told him it was a big one he asked me to open it for him. My hands were shaking so bad, but I did and started to read it to him. Then I just started screaming.....he was accepted. Yea!!!! He is going to the university that I graduated from back in 1981. He has done this all on his own. He has been going to the community college for two years, he has kept his grade point average up and did all the application process by himself and his essay. He is going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then I got in the car and drove to go the the workshop with Dewberry Crafts. My friend Sandy McTier was hosting a workshop in Georgia and I went so that I could learn a new technique. I have such a good time hanging with Sandy, Lori, and Donna, and I made new friends. It was such a nice weekend.

Sunday night, Jan. 18, 2015

another week has come and gone.  Life just goes on weather you are a part of it or not.

Sad day

ugh....call at 3:20 in the morning...Hunter was in jail again.  Oh my gosh....Hunter what is it going to take for you to turn your life around?  My heart is just broken?

Saturday, loving and football.

My little Mia isn't feeling well so I have held her almost all day, trying to give her a part of me.  She is so little and loves me so much and I love her.  I told Phil that if something is seriously wrong with her and I have to put her down....I am taking a break from dogs.  Never thought I. Would ever say that.

Been watching the playoff games today....finally learning some more about the sport.  I am trying.

SOS day

Finally going to a SOS gathering, haven't been much these past few years.  I need to start having a social life, I need to be with my friends and spend time laughing.  I always feel good when I am with them, I just have a hard time leaving the house.  We will see.

Today is do cold, and I think the worse is yet to come.  Ugh....I hate cold weather.

hard day.

I am sort of glad that no one really follows this blog, I am free to say what I want in here and not worry about it going anywhere.

Hunter was supposed to go into rehab this Sunday, but it isn't going to happen because they told us that we would need to have 10,000 in hand.  What ?  It is a new year insurance wise and we have to meet our deductible.  Oh my gosh.  I have been holding onto the fact that he was going into rehab...praying that this would help him.  Now it looks like he can't go, and will have to go to jail for seven days.  I understand all of that, but with what has already happened to him what will going to jail do for him?  I am scared.  My mother's heart is breaking.  OMG....when will this nightmare stop?  If only we could have protected him when he was younger.

Tuesday thoughts.

Sometimes it is the little things that mean the most.  Phil and I went to a late breakfast this morning before he went out of town to work.  We were sitting in the IHOP, we were both sitting on the same side of the table, when an older lady came in and was seated next to us.  The way we were sitting it almost looked like we were together, the three of us.  When she went to sit down she made a comment about joining us and so sorry she was late.  We all had a laugh, and then Phil and I went back to eating.  I kept looking at her, she had such a sweet spirit about her and I would have loved to talk to her some.  But Phil was on her side and so I didn't get to.  But when it came time to pay and leave I asked for her ticket, I wanted to pay for her.  Our money is really tight right now due to an event that took place right before Christmas and we are watching every little dime that we spend.  Yes, I am even cooking at home to help save some money.  lol.  But I wanted to buy her meal, so I did.  The waitress did it for me and when she came back she just stopped and looked at me and said "That is really so nice.", smiled and then walked on.  Hey, maybe she will in turn do something nice for someone today, and maybe even the lady that we paid for will pass a nice deed on.  If not,oh well, she made my heart smile today already.

So I have taken time off from teaching and the studio.  I wanted to get refreshed, new ideas, and paint class samples.  Couldn't do it over the holidays so was planning on this week as a paint week.  So what am I doing...going thru my clothes.  Ugh.....

Good bye 2014 and hello 2015.  Seems like our years have been hard these past seven years, but there have been blessings too.  I pray this year has an abundance of blessings for us all.  No one really reads this anymore so I think I am going to use this for me...to write my thoughts and feelings.

Hunter didn't join us for New Years but he ended up calling us telling us his front tooth had been crepe key in a drunken fight.  Ugh.......Hunter, why can't you realize what drinking is doing to you and the rest of the family.  You are. Breaking our hearts.
  We never know from one day to the next if that will be the day we lose you.  Fight with us.....live with us.  Know that we all love you so much!

The blessing I would like to share in this post, got to bring in the New Year with most of my family.  And Trace came up and gave me a kiss.  I so love that baby.   Nice blessing today, cleaned up the extra bedroom, it is ready for Becky to come visit, and Phil got the pod cleaned out and we can have them pick it up.  That is an extra 130 back into our budget each month.  Yea!