Saturday nigth

Here it is the end of January already....11 more months till the end of 2015.  I wonder where this year will take me, my family.  I pray that this year is better than the one that just ended.  I decided this week that I wasn't going to let outside forces tear me down.  I am going to strive to be happy and at peace.  I pray that Hunter gets well and stays alive.  Every time he walks out the door we can't help but wonder if tonight will be the night we get a call.  But you know what, I have put him in God's hands and I am not going to take him back.  I have got to trust that God will take care of him and that He will give us the strength to face each and everything thing that might happen.

I wonder at times how one of our kids could end up like this....but then Phil reminds me how this happened.  Ugh.....how did that happen to Hunter?  I could drive myself crazy with the questions.....got to let it go.

I keep reminding myself that my joy is in God.  My peace comes from him.

I have not been going to the studio much, I have just been staying home. But this week I have decided to get my butt back in there.  So, I am going to try to do studio hours on Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays.  I hope.  lol.

Okay, going to sign off and go to bed....maybe read for a while and escape into a different world.

Old friends

i love seeing old friends and talking and laughing.  It is always like coming home!

Tuesday, today would have been Mom' s 78th birthday.

cant believe she isn't here to call and wish her happy birthday.  Even though she broke my heart I still wish she was here.  I pray one day I will be able to forgive her.

Thursday night

What a wild and wacky few weeks.  Hunter continues to break my heart.  Philip worries me, and Samantha...I just want her to be happy.  Poor Mia isn't getting better.  So scared for her.

A great weekend.

So on Wednesday I went to work and had a great time there. I am so blessed to have a job that I go to three days a week that I truly love. I have such a good time with everyone that I work with and our customers. I love it.

I then came home to load my car so that I could leave to go out of town. I went to the mail box and there was an envelope from UNC-W for Hunter. And it was a big envelope. You know what that means.....and that is what it was. I wish someone have a video camera on me, I was in the yard trying to read thru the envelope and I saw the word "congratulations". I was so excited that I ran right into the house and called Hunter. I told him that there was an envelope for him and who it was from. He got real quiet and asked me if it was a big one or a small one. When I told him it was a big one he asked me to open it for him. My hands were shaking so bad, but I did and started to read it to him. Then I just started screaming.....he was accepted. Yea!!!! He is going to the university that I graduated from back in 1981. He has done this all on his own. He has been going to the community college for two years, he has kept his grade point average up and did all the application process by himself and his essay. He is going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then I got in the car and drove to go the the workshop with Dewberry Crafts. My friend Sandy McTier was hosting a workshop in Georgia and I went so that I could learn a new technique. I have such a good time hanging with Sandy, Lori, and Donna, and I made new friends. It was such a nice weekend.

Sunday night, Jan. 18, 2015

another week has come and gone.  Life just goes on weather you are a part of it or not.

Sad day

ugh....call at 3:20 in the morning...Hunter was in jail again.  Oh my gosh....Hunter what is it going to take for you to turn your life around?  My heart is just broken?

Saturday, loving and football.

My little Mia isn't feeling well so I have held her almost all day, trying to give her a part of me.  She is so little and loves me so much and I love her.  I told Phil that if something is seriously wrong with her and I have to put her down....I am taking a break from dogs.  Never thought I. Would ever say that.

Been watching the playoff games today....finally learning some more about the sport.  I am trying.

SOS day

Finally going to a SOS gathering, haven't been much these past few years.  I need to start having a social life, I need to be with my friends and spend time laughing.  I always feel good when I am with them, I just have a hard time leaving the house.  We will see.

Today is do cold, and I think the worse is yet to come.  Ugh....I hate cold weather.

hard day.

I am sort of glad that no one really follows this blog, I am free to say what I want in here and not worry about it going anywhere.

Hunter was supposed to go into rehab this Sunday, but it isn't going to happen because they told us that we would need to have 10,000 in hand.  What ?  It is a new year insurance wise and we have to meet our deductible.  Oh my gosh.  I have been holding onto the fact that he was going into rehab...praying that this would help him.  Now it looks like he can't go, and will have to go to jail for seven days.  I understand all of that, but with what has already happened to him what will going to jail do for him?  I am scared.  My mother's heart is breaking.  OMG....when will this nightmare stop?  If only we could have protected him when he was younger.

Tuesday thoughts.

Sometimes it is the little things that mean the most.  Phil and I went to a late breakfast this morning before he went out of town to work.  We were sitting in the IHOP, we were both sitting on the same side of the table, when an older lady came in and was seated next to us.  The way we were sitting it almost looked like we were together, the three of us.  When she went to sit down she made a comment about joining us and so sorry she was late.  We all had a laugh, and then Phil and I went back to eating.  I kept looking at her, she had such a sweet spirit about her and I would have loved to talk to her some.  But Phil was on her side and so I didn't get to.  But when it came time to pay and leave I asked for her ticket, I wanted to pay for her.  Our money is really tight right now due to an event that took place right before Christmas and we are watching every little dime that we spend.  Yes, I am even cooking at home to help save some money.  lol.  But I wanted to buy her meal, so I did.  The waitress did it for me and when she came back she just stopped and looked at me and said "That is really so nice.", smiled and then walked on.  Hey, maybe she will in turn do something nice for someone today, and maybe even the lady that we paid for will pass a nice deed on.  If not,oh well, she made my heart smile today already.

So I have taken time off from teaching and the studio.  I wanted to get refreshed, new ideas, and paint class samples.  Couldn't do it over the holidays so was planning on this week as a paint week.  So what am I doing...going thru my clothes.  Ugh.....

Good bye 2014 and hello 2015.  Seems like our years have been hard these past seven years, but there have been blessings too.  I pray this year has an abundance of blessings for us all.  No one really reads this anymore so I think I am going to use this for me...to write my thoughts and feelings.

Hunter didn't join us for New Years but he ended up calling us telling us his front tooth had been crepe key in a drunken fight.  Ugh.......Hunter, why can't you realize what drinking is doing to you and the rest of the family.  You are. Breaking our hearts.
  We never know from one day to the next if that will be the day we lose you.  Fight with us.....live with us.  Know that we all love you so much!

The blessing I would like to share in this post, got to bring in the New Year with most of my family.  And Trace came up and gave me a kiss.  I so love that baby.   Nice blessing today, cleaned up the extra bedroom, it is ready for Becky to come visit, and Phil got the pod cleaned out and we can have them pick it up.  That is an extra 130 back into our budget each month.  Yea!