Hunter, Hunter, Hunter

I have become a true redneck.  Well sort of.  Hunter was drunk all night, this morning I found him outside sitting in his truck, drunk.  Window was down, and it was the coldest night of the winter, like 10 degrees.  He wouldn't come in the house, so I told him to stay out there and freeze.  Came back in, got under my blankets to get warm and then I get a phone call. He had driven to my Mother's old house and had walked in.  He was upset because they were doing contrustion work on the house.  The people told him to get out.  The thing that got me was that he was driving and drunk.  I thought I was going to die.  I got in my car to go find him, past him on the road, I turned around and started following him.  He bumped the car in front of him, thank God no damage.  He got home, I got out of my car and went over and started in on him.  I told him to give me his keys, he wouldn't so we started fighting over the keys.  Next thing I knew I was hitting him and I gave him a busted lip.  I just let loose on  him.  If I was a man with the strength I would have knocked him on his butt.  OMG....drinking and drunk.  he was drunk to the point of stumbling.  

Wednesday night, the 4th.

So here I am sitting on my bed with Cooper, the big white dog.  I am so tired, just want to go to sleep, but no....my brain won't shut off.  I just got done sending out an email about the upcoming classes....
Classes have fallen off, I hate when we take a break cause it takes forever for them to get going full swing.  And I am not picking up any new students.  I keep thinking that I just need to stop classes....but I keep going.  It is really hard to come up with interesting things every week.  I try to introduce new ideas and techniques...but I guess they don't want that.  They seem to want the same One Stroke stuff.  So, I have really been thinking about this.  I think I will stick to one Stroke for the classes, maybe once a month introduce something new and let that be it.  There is plenty of One Stroke stuff out there, so I guess I will do it.  When I am at the Studio I can do different things for me.   How does that sound?  UGH.....lol.

OMG...I finally got on the scales.

UGH!!!!  I knew I have been gaining weight...I didn't want to get on the scales and see the proof, but I did tonight....Shoot me in the head now.  I don't even want to say out loud how much I have gained.  Last week I started trying to take my life back and the weight control is part of it.  Oh my,  but I do love to eat.  I really love to eat.  but I do eat too much, especially at night.  I will get up after going to bed and walk into the kitchen just to get something to eat, and then I go to bed and go to sleep.  I have gained all the weight that I lost years ago....why or why?  I am weak when it comes to my weight and eating.  Like right now Phil is sitting there in his chair eating a piece of cake and I so want to  jump on him and eat it.  I can do this....I can do this....I can do this.  What did I say...I CAN DO THIS.  A pound at a time...one day at a time.